just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think my vagina is haunted
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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