dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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