hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
