Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
