dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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