This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
