Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
