their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize