btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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