you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
