You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
