Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
