Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize