wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
