i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
