I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
