Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
