So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
