who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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