dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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