Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize