Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
