I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
