i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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