I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sext me about skeletons
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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