i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
