She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
