24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
