Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I checked into jail on foursquare
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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