your thong is hanging out like whoa
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have post one night stand depression
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
