I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
