he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
