Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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