You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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