the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
