We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize