i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
