After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
