I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize