i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
