I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
