I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
