One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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