Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
do herpes really smell.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize