My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
