Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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