Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
