I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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