hotel room ftw
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
