if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
