I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
