Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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