Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
