I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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