Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Do vagina's smell?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
