Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
