butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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