dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
