butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
