Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
