mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
