She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Houston, we have a squirter
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize