Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
