if only i could text you this smell
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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