You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
