oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
