I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
