its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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