she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
